The 5 Year Break Up

Why is it so hard to let go of a relationship?  Granted this last one was indeed different.  One would think I actually fell in love with this one.  Did I fall in love or did I fall in love with the idea of it?  Then you come to your senses and realize love was never there in the first place.  It was a meaningless waste of emotion.

This will be the last time I writer about it as five years is a long enough amount of time to long for someone.  Maybe it wasn't a longing but a sense of familiarity and laziness.  The dating landscape is rife with deceit.  Older guys trying to recapture a youth long gone and younger guys looking for game points on their leaderboards.  It really makes one not want to be bothered.  I find I spend most of my time out and about with friends, when I'm not writing of course.

I believe everything happens for a reason.  Some things happen that I cannot figure out.  Maybe it's not for me to figure out.  I realize I am a piece of this puzzle called life.  I just want to figure out where my piece fits.  We all have our moments of complete clarity on where and what we're doing here.

Yesterday I prayed for a godless person.  Godless doesn't mean soulless.  I prayed for strength for him entirely.  I hope he finds the person he seeks.  I hope he finds that movie quality love.  I devoted my prayer entirely to him.

Turning the sign on the door.  CLOSED.  I no longer fear the other sign.  OUT OF BUSINESS.  I'm looking forward to it.  I would much rather have the career I want and comfort than opening my heart again.