Waiting for things to HAPPEN

I'm doing all I can to make things HAPPEN. I know it's just a matter of time. God give me patience.

I know I waste my time and effort worrying when in the end God takes care of me each and every time. This week began with worry about several financial issues and as the deadline for each issue came up, the answer was presented to me. Like today...I had to figure out how to meet my obligations and here it is 10am and all has been resolved.

I know there is a God and I never had a doubt.

Extreme Joy!!!

It has been a joyful week having my mom visit. I wish she would stay. You never realize how lonely you really are until you've had the pleasure of being with someone you love and then they leave. I love my mom. I love my family. I thank God for them everyday.

Going through these hard times, you tend to lean on family more than ever.

Crap ass day!

We all have'em. I should have known it was comin' since the past few days were so good. I have hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
Good night.

High Energy Day!!!

Waking up at 430 and drinking two large cups of coffee before 7 has got me buzzing around here like I know something great is about to happen! I feel like something great is about to happen. Lord knows something great needs to happen!!! Fingers crossed.

People I know

I love Facebook. It allows me to keep in touch with people I haven't seen in twenty years! I get to see updates on when they get married, have parties, have babies, etc. Here's the funny thing, of all my FB buddies, very few (none) actually invite me to celebrate their good times. Sure I get invites to fundraisers and for pay events, but never anything personal. So I thought to myself, should I continue to call them "friends" or shall I rename them as "people I know?" Of my over four hundred "friends" I can count on ONE hand those who truly know me, care about me and invite me to share in their lives. Whew, I feel better now that the pressure's off of me to be a "friend." To my FIVE friends, look for a wedding invite, a pool party invite, a baby shower announcement, and a simple phone call just to see how you're doing.

One Minute Sermon

Can you say Amen and Amen? Joel Osteen was once again inspirational on this day! I wrote on my pilot for four hours. I then spent some time on facebook and a friend posted this.

Wow! I decided to post it here and on my facebook page with the words transcribed!

To be a survivor in this amazing race
with a need for speed you need God’s grace.

And if you’re desperate like housewives
watching days of our lives,
you can’t cope without hope
and that’s not on a soap.

If you’re lookin to Oprah or Dr. Phil
you can shop nonstop or pop a pill.
But the void won’t fill and the pain won’t kill
till you love the one that hung on the hill.

Kicking back in your lazy boy easy chair
watching who want’s to be a millionaire.

Na, you’re not gonna find it there.

No American idol or counsel tribal
has a final answer that’l satisfy ya.

CSI ain’t got a clue,
SVU don’t know what to do.
Not the ER or OC,
nothin on a CD, TV, DVD or MP3
can save you and me.

CNN’s got no good news,
here’s a headline, you must choose.

It’s not a simple life Paris Hilton,
it’s treadin on thin ice, living in sin.

You can be an apprentice for Donald Trump
or eat Fear Factor fast food from a dump.
You can be a heavy hitter or Wheel of Fortune winner,
a Fox News news spin spinner
or a flat out sinner.

But you better check this life that your livin
and make sure your sins are forgiven.

I bet ya 50 cent Elvis done came and went.
And eventually, every Black Eyed Pea, Gwen Staffani, P-Diddy and Brittany;
every wanta be on MTV with they icy bling;
every Dixie chick that sings.

They all gonna see the King of Kings.

I don’t care if you’re J-Lo, Leno, or Bano.
One thing you gotta know,
some day you gonna die bro,
then where you gonna go?

Hey I’m not talkin some punk junk that’s irrelevant
like you’re grandma’s church from way back when,
it’s not some preacher feature on TBN
that ya need to be liken or listenin.

The real super star is Jesus Christ.
He’s the way
He’s truth
and the life.

One day He’s gonna split the sky,
He’s the brightest light
and the highest high.

So what I came to say
and what I’m tellin ya,
is don’t buy that stupid stuff
they be sellin ya.

It’s all designed to fill you head
and waist your space,
until you’re dead.

Here’s the bottom line of my rhyme;
Give your life to God while there’s still time.

Friendships...my friend Marty

As I rolled into the parking structure this morning, I thought to myself, Is a person really your friend if they lie to keep up false hope? Or are they really your friend if they are brutally honest and hurt your feelings? Fortunately I have both kinds - I have my "yes" friends and my "you look fat" friends; of the two types, I prefer to limit being around both. The type of person I absolutely being around is me. I prefer positive to negative, happy to sad, confident to dependent.

I had a wonderful encounter with a new friend yesterday that reminded me of me. He reminded me of how good a person I really am and that times I let me get in the way of my own success. He made me think about a man I loved who is no longer with us, Marty. I thought about him all night. I thought about the times we had in college and the silly things we did. We thought we had forever, most young folks do. Marty was my best friend and he loved me as much as I love him. There were times where we would meet each other just to sit and be silent. Just being together was comfort enough. I remember the day I was told he was dead. I was at work. Our supervisor came up to me and asked when was the last time I'd seen Marty. I told him we spoke Saturday night and he flaked on me Sunday morning. Right when the police officer came up to us my supervisor said Marty was dead. That's all I remember because I fainted, right there in the middle of the collections department at Discover Card.

Marty was the type of friend who was honest, funny and deeply loving. How could you not fall in love with him? I did.

So today, I start out a new. No more bitching. No more worry or fear. Remembering my love Marty and his great smile has restored hope and faith into my soul.

I got this. It's my time to shine. Thanks for the reminder!

It's Monday at 5:20am!

Why am I up? Because I'm not making enough money! I'm sick of stressing out about trying to make ends meet. I feel like those ends should be tied in a knot at this point. I try so hard but the return is just not enough. I did manage to get in some writing over the weekend. Sometimes I feel like, why write, no one's going to read it! I would rather have it written than to not have it written and an opportunity come up.

Joel Osteen brings me up on Sunday, reality brings me down on Monday.