I'm Sorry Dr. King...

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." Dr. King's last speech.

As I look back on the past week, I've stood silent, observing, witnessing all of the hate, anger, and fear of our society today. A church protesting Robin Williams' funeral, another unarmed black man shot; this is not the world Dr. King envisioned. In my generation it was Rodney King, in my mom's generation it was Emit Till and countless men and women before him. I wish we would all take one day to stop the hate in all forms...just one day to see what love truly feels like. Can we do that? I just don't know anymore. -Lisa

Change is Happening…this time it's for real!

I am so happy to have been working on many projects. I had the opportunity to pitch 5 of them and 3 of them were accepted!!! Needless to say, I have been and will continue to be a very busy person!!


Everyone should seek out a new look, now and then…

7 Projects!

I am working on seven projects! I know it may seem like I'm spreading myself a bit thin (woohoo, I've lost weight…oh wait, that's different). I am very excited about these projects. These seven projects are the culmination of years of research. Six will be pitch ready by the end of August! One is a spec for an existing show. Very exciting and very busy.

Wrongs of my past

No matter how hard I try to correct the correct the wrongs of my past (being underemployed for so long) I am still being punished, if not financially, then emotionally. I think about all of the jobs I didn't get for one reason or another; or the things I was subjected to by horrible people, still and yet that wasn't enough. All I can do is take it one day at a time, one wrong made right at a time.

More LOVE in my life?

Some random person just told me that I need love in my life. I looked at her and said, "do you not see my hair and nails?" I take good care of myself. She said, "no not that, you need love from another person." I told her, without hesitation, "I know, I need to get another dog!"

I've been single all of my life. I've become accustomed to doing my own thing whenever. I cringe at the thought of opening up my world for someone. Way too many losers in the past and I get farther without the baggage others bring.

Am I wrong? Your thoughts?

Socially Unsocial

I'm finally getting back to socializing now that the storm has passed. I've been off of facebook for a week now and admittedly, I don't miss it. I realize that in such a short time, I've become socially unsocial. I want to get out but I kinda don't want to be bothered with all of the goings on of people. I've been deep into my writing, determined to deliver 5 strong outlines by the end of August. I really put too much pressure on myself but this is the kind of pressure I like. Not really in a hurry to get back on facebook as I'm still trying to get back to adjust to human contact...again.

On Vacation

I'm taking a break from facebook and the internet. Just like inspiration, I'll be back.

Determined!

After a quiet weekend and much time to reflect on my past and present, I'm determined to continue moving forward. I will stop blaming everyone for the successes I did receive… Hmmm, what's wrong with that last sentence? "Successes I didn't receive" and "Blame." Let's take a few steps back. I am a very determined and hard working individual, so any success I have are those I have created and nurtured. So for me to state that success is given to me is not accurate. Any success I have is because I not only wanted it, worked hard for it, and most importantly I shared my dreams and goals. So when success doesn't happen the way I envisioned it, that means it is time to take a step back and ask myself a few questions:

Is this what you want?
What do you want?
What do you need to get to where you want?
What are you willing to give up to get what and where you want?
Is it worth it?
Are you surrounded by people who are good for me?

This list is much longer, but I suspect you all get the point.

I will not blame others for not helping me achieve my goals, nor do I expect others to help. I must do the work and know that my time will come.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Maybe I'm dating myself but remember when co-workers used to ask on Friday's "what are your plans for the weekend?" with the intentions of maybe wanting to get together outside of work or actually taking an interest in your personal life? Now it is more of a faux nicety to show concern. When most people ask me, I say "nothing" and that seems to end the conversation. There are many things people ask (or say) and don't really mean (or care), like "How are you today?" And if you say more than "Fine" or "Well" the person loses interest and looks for the nearest exit. When people ask me how I'm doing, my response most of the time is "Still perfect, still good lookin, nothings changed since yesterday... and you?" Their preprogrammed response goes out the window and they actually have to think! I love it because most of the time it brings a smile to their faces. I guess making people feel good about themselves is one of my callings.

Just thinking...

I read a post this morning on facebook from a former co-worker. It was simply titled "For those on the verge of giving up..." The first thing that comes to my mind is, "that's a sign to keep my goals in sight and not give up." But then I thought, "that can't be a message for me because I've always had the goal in sight and always trying but never succeeding." Last night I thought, "well it hasn't happened and where I am is as good as its gonna get for me so I might as well accept it." This morning, I feel differently now that I've had time to reflect on why I was so angry yesterday and what got me to that point.

People cannot see beyond their own stereotypes. Many feel, myself included, that because I sit in an assistant (coordinator) chair, this is all I am about. They feel my intellectual level only goes as high as mastering google calendar and booking flights. For the few who have actually had a conversation with me are blown away with just how deep, funny, personable and intelligent I really am. Of course you shouldn't have to hear you're smart in order to believe it. You must know it. The frustration comes when others never expect it.

This is why I write. I do have stories to tell. I am somebody (back in the day from old school Chicago and Jesse Jackson in the 80's)!

I know, It's been a minute but...

My life has been crazy and my time is no longer my own. My full 50 has consumed all of my time and on the weekends its all about research, research, and writing.

I apologize to you, my two followers and from this point forward will make a more concerted effort to post often.

More info to come soon...

Episode Assignment...My First!!

Although the morning might appear dreary, and the rain comes and goes, (not to mention I had my hair flat ironed last week and my car washed - hmmm coincidence?) I am incredibly excited to be writing again! I simply could not wait for the weekend to come! My episode is due on Thursday! What am I feeling? Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Motivated. Inspired. Challenged, only because of my full 40 usually turns into a full 50 leaving me a bit exhausted during the week! I'm not complaining! Many TALENTED writers have full 40's, a family, and other challenges in their lives and are still able to get on a show.

At the beginning of the year, I sought out mentors for guidance. While no one has stepped up to the plate yet, I continue to write. I realized on this journey, I am responsible for my own MOTIVATION. Connecting with many writers the common theme, other than the lack of opportunities in television for "baby" writers, is the LOVE for the craft. It is IMPERATIVE! You must LOVE writing, no matter what happens.

Writing for me is therapeutic as it allows me to say all the things I think about without offending someone directly!!! Of course those of you who know me, know I'm not shy! At my YOUNG age (stop laughing), I've had a plethora of life experiences and ready for that WRITER'S ROOM!

Excited and doing the happy dance at Starbucks while writing this morning!!

Yes indeed it is a GREAT Day!!! Follow me on Twitter: @writerstewie

Suicide on the 210 and the 405 this morning? What is going on?

This is what we in Los Angeles had to deal with this morning:

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=9445777

As I drove home tonight on the freeway where this person jumped to his death and hit a car this morning, I said a silent preyer. I prayed for the person who hit him and the victim's family. Why? The person who was simply driving to work this morning will never forget this day. He was probably headed to a mundane job or even an interview, sipping on his coffee and listening to NPR. The person will never forget this day because of one person's selfish act.

The other prayer is for the family that had to claim the body. Having experienced this myself, the hours of not having any answers and waiting to view this body that may or may not be your friend or family member. It's certainly not how it is in the movies. You are waiting for a while.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for the soul who committed suicide this morning. I just wished this person would of had someone to listen to him before making this lifetimes final decision. I've had two friends leave me by suicide and from experience it is no piece of cake, nor is it something I will ever forget.

Sometimes friends need to just LISTEN without judgment or advice. Just listen. Suicide is no joke, and guess what? You're not coming back to see others feel bad for you. My rule of thumb when life gets challenging, take a break and give yourself 24 hours before making any decisions. "Be Still...and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10. I simply say that and it immediately calms me. We do NOT know what tomorrow brings. And we know there are delays, so wait.

Going Through It...again?

NO! And I am working on a new project that is bringing me much joy! The research was completed last month and now I'm feverishly writing the script! I am very excited about this project. I've spent many a weekend internet-free because this needs to be done within the next few weeks.

At the same time, working my 50 (day job) and revisiting an old issue that wasn't resolved. Goal: Resolve it THIS week!

Happy to report 20 pounds dropped in 2013. I have also gone mostly organic food-wise. Work provides food so I am not 100% organic...yet. I've started a weekly juice fast one to two days a week to keep the vitamins coming in.

Dental work...the wisdom teeth are gone and one root canal done. The goal is to get healthy tooth-wise.

Friends - I made a few since December...Hazaa! Not that this is ever a problem.

I should be back and posting in three weeks after this script is written!!