Finding my JOY!

I've been in a sad place for over four years now. Sure there have been some happy moments but nothing to sustain my joy. It began when I was laid off my job. Suddenly a plethora of emotions, issues and unexpected drama began. I admit, I was spoiled in my position for eight years. I had gotten used to the personalities and the politics. I knew the game and the players and they knew me. And in one fell swoop it was gone. I had savings and I thought I had friends to sustain me through what I thought would be a brief blip in my life. Wow, what a BLIP! I've encountered more backstabbing, outright cruelty and insecurity in people than I have in my entire life. I was used to being around strong, smart, and sure individuals. Now all I seem to encounter are very insecure and not so smart people, downright sneaky types that hang their futures by being cruel to others.

How can I find my joy in a world like this? The other day, here in Burbank, I saw a billboard in all caps and big letters, "SUICIDE: Know the signs!" Wow, as a society is this where we are? I believe people are tired of the blatant cruelty being bestowed on others.

I will find my joy. I just need direction. I'm in auto-mode, which sadly is survival mode yet I am NOT cruel, backstabby or insecure. I tend to internalize which incidentally is why I have a blog...to get things out, share my thoughts. I used to find joy in simple things, nature, my dogs, my friends, chocolate.

What brings you joy?

In the story

I sat down to write at my favorite writing spot this morning. Have you ever been so wrapped up in your story that it feels like it's happening? That has never happened to me. Usually I know it's a story but I was so into it, I was actually there in the moment. In this particular scene we are in a park early in the morning looking for body parts. I could actually feel the cold air and the warmth of the coffee cup in my hand as I spoke with the detective. I need to finish the story.