Loss

Any kind of loss is hard. This year seems to have been my year for great loss. I've been dealing with it by taking it one day at a time and appreciating the time I had with those I've lost. My dog Russell was an angel. There is not a human alive, that I've met who can match the amount of love and compassion that dog has given me unconditionally.

There in Dr. Jimerson's quiet room, I held my Russell. I thanked him for all the years he gave me and all the lessons I've learned. In his last moments, right before the final injection, I said "give momma some sugar" and he kissed me twice on my right cheek, as a tear escaped and in complete silence he went to sleep in my arms. I miss my baby boy so much that sometimes it actually hurts. Even now as I write this, the tears flow like a raging river. Russell taught me how to be patient and giving because that's how he was. He never stressed about anything. He always let Max go nuts over something while he sat on the side lines waiting for him to finish. He always knew that there would be enough food, kisses and love so there was never any need to beat Max to the finish line.

My Russell taught me how to be observant with a purpose and to listen with my heart. He taught me to only take what I need and share whats left. He taught me how to love no matter how the person treats me. Learn the lesson, heal the wound and reopen your heart. When the boys were little they would fight like crazy but by the end of the day after feeding, they were never far from each other AND they never fell asleep without one another beside the other.

I miss you Russell. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy and thank you for teaching me some of life's lessons.