Fear and Uncertainty

You ever have one of those days where you're just afraid, afraid that everything is going to come crashing down on you after you've done your best to keep it together? I'm having one of those days. This morning I had to grovel for a job...yet again. I'm grateful to have gotten the interview but would feel better getting the job. If one thing unemployment and this economy has shown me is humility. Every day I battle with myself to hold on to an ounce of the self-confidence I once had before my life took such a cruel and unforgiving turn for the worse. I've experienced loss before but not at this magnitude. And the people...the one thing Los Angeles does and does very well is let you know that you are never as good as you seem and the people you meet are not ever really your friends. In my twenty years here I can still count on one hand the amount of people I consider friends. Here in LA you don't really have friends in the traditional sense, you have acquaintances who get you from one situation to another. No one but the very few really has your back.

I hope I can turn my life around. That would really be nice because I'm tired of living in this uncertainty and with this fear that wakes me up in the middle of the night in a panic. God, please...thank you.