On Vacation

I'm taking a break from facebook and the internet. Just like inspiration, I'll be back.

Determined!

After a quiet weekend and much time to reflect on my past and present, I'm determined to continue moving forward. I will stop blaming everyone for the successes I did receive… Hmmm, what's wrong with that last sentence? "Successes I didn't receive" and "Blame." Let's take a few steps back. I am a very determined and hard working individual, so any success I have are those I have created and nurtured. So for me to state that success is given to me is not accurate. Any success I have is because I not only wanted it, worked hard for it, and most importantly I shared my dreams and goals. So when success doesn't happen the way I envisioned it, that means it is time to take a step back and ask myself a few questions:

Is this what you want?
What do you want?
What do you need to get to where you want?
What are you willing to give up to get what and where you want?
Is it worth it?
Are you surrounded by people who are good for me?

This list is much longer, but I suspect you all get the point.

I will not blame others for not helping me achieve my goals, nor do I expect others to help. I must do the work and know that my time will come.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Maybe I'm dating myself but remember when co-workers used to ask on Friday's "what are your plans for the weekend?" with the intentions of maybe wanting to get together outside of work or actually taking an interest in your personal life? Now it is more of a faux nicety to show concern. When most people ask me, I say "nothing" and that seems to end the conversation. There are many things people ask (or say) and don't really mean (or care), like "How are you today?" And if you say more than "Fine" or "Well" the person loses interest and looks for the nearest exit. When people ask me how I'm doing, my response most of the time is "Still perfect, still good lookin, nothings changed since yesterday... and you?" Their preprogrammed response goes out the window and they actually have to think! I love it because most of the time it brings a smile to their faces. I guess making people feel good about themselves is one of my callings.

Just thinking...

I read a post this morning on facebook from a former co-worker. It was simply titled "For those on the verge of giving up..." The first thing that comes to my mind is, "that's a sign to keep my goals in sight and not give up." But then I thought, "that can't be a message for me because I've always had the goal in sight and always trying but never succeeding." Last night I thought, "well it hasn't happened and where I am is as good as its gonna get for me so I might as well accept it." This morning, I feel differently now that I've had time to reflect on why I was so angry yesterday and what got me to that point.

People cannot see beyond their own stereotypes. Many feel, myself included, that because I sit in an assistant (coordinator) chair, this is all I am about. They feel my intellectual level only goes as high as mastering google calendar and booking flights. For the few who have actually had a conversation with me are blown away with just how deep, funny, personable and intelligent I really am. Of course you shouldn't have to hear you're smart in order to believe it. You must know it. The frustration comes when others never expect it.

This is why I write. I do have stories to tell. I am somebody (back in the day from old school Chicago and Jesse Jackson in the 80's)!

I know, It's been a minute but...

My life has been crazy and my time is no longer my own. My full 50 has consumed all of my time and on the weekends its all about research, research, and writing.

I apologize to you, my two followers and from this point forward will make a more concerted effort to post often.

More info to come soon...

Episode Assignment...My First!!

Although the morning might appear dreary, and the rain comes and goes, (not to mention I had my hair flat ironed last week and my car washed - hmmm coincidence?) I am incredibly excited to be writing again! I simply could not wait for the weekend to come! My episode is due on Thursday! What am I feeling? Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Motivated. Inspired. Challenged, only because of my full 40 usually turns into a full 50 leaving me a bit exhausted during the week! I'm not complaining! Many TALENTED writers have full 40's, a family, and other challenges in their lives and are still able to get on a show.

At the beginning of the year, I sought out mentors for guidance. While no one has stepped up to the plate yet, I continue to write. I realized on this journey, I am responsible for my own MOTIVATION. Connecting with many writers the common theme, other than the lack of opportunities in television for "baby" writers, is the LOVE for the craft. It is IMPERATIVE! You must LOVE writing, no matter what happens.

Writing for me is therapeutic as it allows me to say all the things I think about without offending someone directly!!! Of course those of you who know me, know I'm not shy! At my YOUNG age (stop laughing), I've had a plethora of life experiences and ready for that WRITER'S ROOM!

Excited and doing the happy dance at Starbucks while writing this morning!!

Yes indeed it is a GREAT Day!!! Follow me on Twitter: @writerstewie

Suicide on the 210 and the 405 this morning? What is going on?

This is what we in Los Angeles had to deal with this morning:

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=9445777

As I drove home tonight on the freeway where this person jumped to his death and hit a car this morning, I said a silent preyer. I prayed for the person who hit him and the victim's family. Why? The person who was simply driving to work this morning will never forget this day. He was probably headed to a mundane job or even an interview, sipping on his coffee and listening to NPR. The person will never forget this day because of one person's selfish act.

The other prayer is for the family that had to claim the body. Having experienced this myself, the hours of not having any answers and waiting to view this body that may or may not be your friend or family member. It's certainly not how it is in the movies. You are waiting for a while.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for the soul who committed suicide this morning. I just wished this person would of had someone to listen to him before making this lifetimes final decision. I've had two friends leave me by suicide and from experience it is no piece of cake, nor is it something I will ever forget.

Sometimes friends need to just LISTEN without judgment or advice. Just listen. Suicide is no joke, and guess what? You're not coming back to see others feel bad for you. My rule of thumb when life gets challenging, take a break and give yourself 24 hours before making any decisions. "Be Still...and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10. I simply say that and it immediately calms me. We do NOT know what tomorrow brings. And we know there are delays, so wait.